Fallen
by Gracie A
Summary: Takes place after the end of The Gift how I imagine part of Rafe and Alison's story might have played out. Pls. R
1. Chapter 1

A/N: OK. Here goes. By way of explanation - I listened to the lyrics of _Fallen_ (by Sarah McLachlan) and I thought of Rali - more specifically, the situation any Rali fan was left with at the end. Since NE I've had a BIG problem w/Ali's willingness to trust Caleb in any way, and I especially had a problem with that whole sibling fiasco. So. Here's my inspiration. I'd say enjoy but you (my Triplets in particular) better wait till the ending. ;) xox-G

Chapter One

She was numb. Feeling anything had become so painful that she'd rather feel nothing at all. If it weren't for the child she carried she was sure she'd take something to make it all go away.

She paced the room where she lived now – in the mansion with her grandmother. Though surrounded by luxury it all meant nothing. Without him she could barely breathe – watching his face as he learned the truth made her heart shatter in a million pieces. He was angry at her – unbelievably angry and she knew that she deserved it.

When Rafe learned the truth – the impossible happened. He unleashed his anger at her.

His words were uncharacteristically vicious. The things he accused her of were unthinkable. He said that she had planned it all along – to destroy him. Nothing could be further from the truth but there was no reasoning with him.

Sitting there alone she remembered, the sound of his words still ringing in her ears, the look in his eyes burned on her brain. She shivered as the scene played out again in her mind.

"Tell me this isn't true." He said, his eyes pleading with her.

"I…" She sobbed.

Rafe crossed the room and couldn't quite bring himself to hold her in his arms, his mind racing, his blood boiling. "Alison. Please. Tell me you didn't. Tell me that this is a trick - a plan he has just to make me go crazy. Tell me."

He keep talking, his voice shaking with hurt and rage, "Because, what I just saw - that couldn't have happened. Right? Because - you love me. You would never let him anywhere near you."

"Rafe - please. It was Livvie's wish…" She tried to speak.

"Let me understand this. You are saying that this actually happened? You're telling me you were with Caleb - in our place. You made love with him. That's what you are telling me."

She shook her head, "No - I didn't."

"So what I saw was a trick?" He asked, still suspicious.

She was through trying to hide the truth, "No. I was with him Rafe - it's true - but I did not make love to him Rafe. I - we - it wasn't like that."

He grabbed her by the arms and started to shake her. He was beside himself, "What was it like - Alison? Huh? Tell me - what was it like? Did you enjoy it?"

She brought her hand to touch his face, "Rafe - no. Stop please. I only want you. I only ever wanted you."

He swatted her hand away, "Except when I'm away and then any old vampire will do."

Stunned, she tried to make him understand, "You're not being fair. I never meant for it to happen. It's not like I wanted it to happen - I was under a spell - I couldn't stop it."

Rafe looked at her - his face full of realization. "And Joshua drugged you so you tried to stab me to death. It's all making sense now. This really started a year ago. When that bastard first came back. He tried to be your friend, turned and married your mother. He told you we were related. You chose him over me then too. I should have seen this coming."

Alison shook her head no and tried again to grab hold of him. This can't happen. She thought desperately. "Rafe…"

"I let myself fall in love with you - I let my guard down and you became my weakness. I let him kill me once and now he's done it again."

He stared at her with hatred in those eyes that once only looked at her with love. "This time - I'm not so lucky. I don't get to die. I get to walk around here - watching you - watching him with you - because you know he won't leave you alone - not now that you're carrying his child." Rafe chuckled bitterly, "This was brilliant. He worked really hard on this one."

"Rafe - just listen to yourself. You can't mean what you're saying. This baby belongs to us. To you and to me." As she spoke she had to fight the uneasiness she felt in the pit of her stomach as she tried to convince him what she said was true. "Do you honestly believe that I was planning this? That Caleb and I teamed up to get to you?"

"You mean you didn't?" He asked, sarcastically.

"No." She was stunned by his reaction. He didn't really believe what he was saying. He was hurt - that was all. She didn't blame him - but she never expected this.

"C'mon - Alison. Let's be honest with each other. You remember honesty - don't you?" She staggered backwards, his words stinging like a slap to the face. "You wanted to believe in him. You let yourself be taken over by him and he used you - just like he uses Livvie. Except - Livvie couldn't give him a child - so he chose you. And there I was - falling into the trap - believing when you said you loved me…"

"Rafe. Stop. Please. I do - I love you."

"You loved me enough to sleep with my sworn enemy." He stared at her, his gaze icy. "Love like that - I don't need."

"You don't mean that." Alison said, her voice choked with tears. "Rafe, please." She grabbed at his hands.

He pulled them from her grip and turned away.

She remembered how she'd left him that night, packing up what she could carry and slipping away quietly, leaving a note telling him where he could find her - not knowing if he'd even want to.

He lived alone now – above the gym – his days spent venting his anger but punching the bag for hours – his nights spent sleepless – because even though she'd wounded him in every way possible – the memories of his life with her still haunted him.

After she left he sought him out, desperate to fight. Caleb just stood there calmly, relishing in the fact that he'd gotten to him, chuckling when Rafe tried to throw punches, desperate to inflict pain, trying in vain to somehow make someone else feel the same way he did.

Afterward, he didn't feel any better. He was bruised and battered as well as broken hearted.

He remembered the day when she'd told him she was pregnant. They had both been ecstatic, staying up all night, spinning dreams of the future. Even now there were times that he'd get a flash of what it had been like being with her. He'd see clearly the moment he first fell in love with her, remember their first kiss, the look on her face when he finally remembered. Every time he did, for a few brief moments he wanted to go to her. And then, before he could, he'd see an image of her with his enemy, in that very same place and of how he'd taunted him when he'd told him the child Alison carried belonged to him instead.

The one person who knew both their stories was Lucy. She gently meddled enough to keep an eye on both of them. It made her so sad to see them both in the states they were in. Rafe was too hurt to see straight and Alison felt too guilty to come anywhere near him. She checked in as often as she could – but it had been far too long. They'd been apart for months and if something wasn't done soon – they might never be together again.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Lucy stood outside Alison's door and knocked softly before easing her way inside. She remembered the first time she'd visited Alison here. It was heartbreaking to see her like that. 

__

"Go away - Lucy." Alison said sadly.

"I won't. I'll stay here until you let me in."

Defeated, and not wanting to fight anymore, Alison pulled the door open.

Lucy was shocked at what she saw. Alison looked so pale and drawn, her hair was matted and her eyes dull. She turned her back to Lucy and pulled the oversized sweater she wore around herself. Lucy recognized it. It belonged to Rafe.

"I wanted to make sure you were alright." Lucy said softly.

"I'm not. Lucy. I'm not alright. I will never be alright again."

"Shh. C'mon that's not true."

She whispered. "He hates me."

"That's not true either." Lucy placed her hand on her back shocked at the feel of her shoulder blades. Oh my God, She thought, she's so thin.

"Alison - aren't you eating?"

She shrugged, "Why bother?"

"The baby - Alison. You need to eat or…"  


Alison's voice was bitter. "I'll lose the baby? I'm not that lucky. I'm sure it's surviving, sucking my blood internally. Takes after his father."

"Alison. The baby is most likely Rafe's - you know that."

She did. She actually was sure of it, but even still, she shook her head. "I can't let myself think of that Lucy. I can't. If I do - it's like torture. I'd much rather believe that Caleb is right - that it's his. Then I don't have to care."

"Alison. You're killing yourself, holed up here. And Rafe, he's not doing any better than you are."

"I know. I can't believe what I did to him."

Lucy turned Alison to face her, her voice stern. "OK. Alison. You hurt him - that's true - but you never deliberately or consciously tried to hurt him. This evil - it seeps in and takes over, when you least expect it. The most - the thing you learned most is that you are not immune to it. I know Rafe likes to think you both are - but it's not true."

"I didn't - Lucy." Alison sobbed and turned and collapsed in her arms. 

"Shh. It's OK." Lucy whispered as she hugged her.  


"Oh God - Lucy. I love him. I never wanted to hurt him. That night - I couldn't stop it. I wanted to leave. I was almost out the door and then - it happened. For days afterward I wanted to tell him what happened, but I couldn't. I knew it would hurt him and I just wanted it to go away."

Alison's words kept coming. Rafe hadn't let her speak - she needed to say it to someone who understood and wouldn't judge her. "I never wanted Caleb. I only want Rafe. From almost the moment I met him, I only ever wanted him. He's everything to me. He's my heart, Lucy." She sobbed and clung to Lucy as her knees began to give out. "and now - now that I lost him - Lucy - I can't breathe. I can't sleep or eat. I'm already dead inside. I just want it to stop, Lucy, I just want the rest to catch up to me." 

Lucy led her to the couch to sit down. "He'll come back to you. Alison. You will be together again. You have to believe that."

Alison shook her head no, "I don't think so - Lucy. Not this time. This was the end. This is one challenge too many for us."

"Stop it. You brought him back here - Alison. Your love saved him. He'll remember that. It might take some time - but you know that he will."

Alison's tearstained face stared up at her. "It hurts too much to believe that Lucy."

"Well - then you've just proven you're not dead." Lucy said. "You only hurt when you're alive." 

Entering the room, Lucy saw her, sitting on a window seat – staring out the window. She turned to glance at Lucy quickly before turning back to gaze out at the grounds below. 

"It's snowing - Lucy." She said sadly. 

"Yeah." Lucy replied. "It's sticking too. There's about 2 inches on the ground, already." 

"I used to love the snow. Once – we…." Alison blinked back tears and stopped speaking. The memory was too painful. Everything was so beautiful and so simple back then. All they needed was each other. 

"Alison." Lucy sat beside her. She noticed how Alison's hand rested on her stomach, how she rubbed small circles over it without seeming to notice what she was doing. "Come with me for a little bit. Maybe we could go shopping. There's only a day or two left. It's nearly Christmas." 

"I'm not exactly in the holiday spirit – Lucy." She said softly. "I think I'd rather stay here." 

Lucy ran her eyes over Alison from head to toe. Her lovely blond hair seemed duller, her eyes no longer sparkled. Her smile had been absent for weeks. She looked pale and sad and was the very definition of heartbroken. The only person she'd ever seen look at all similar was her cousin. 

This was ridiculous. They had to start talking. They'd both die from sheer loneliness if she didn't try to do something soon. 

"Alison. Sweetie. Come with me. We won't go shopping – but I think there's something that will make you feel better." 

"I don't think so, Lucy. Don't make me go and try and see him. Please. I'm begging you." She started to weep. 

"Alison…" 

Alison got up and paced the room, her voice frantic. "No. Lucy. I can't. It's too much. The things he's said to me – the way I hurt him. He's right. I betrayed him in the worst way possible. I should have listened to him – I should have stayed away. But I didn't – and I ruined everything. I don't blame him for how he feels. I blame myself." 

And he blames himself too. Lucy thought. For all his lashing out – Lucy knew that Rafe blamed himself above all else. He left Alison alone and vulnerable. They'd told him his life on earth would be hell and they were entirely right. His having to live without Alison was like his punishment and he could not be persuaded otherwise. 

"Then come with me – to the hospital. I think it's about time you learned the truth." 

"Lucy…" 

"Do you have any doubt whose baby that is?" Lucy asked, pointing in the direction of Alison's belly. There was no doubt in her mind whose child Alison carried – but she figured it was about time they found out for sure. 

"It's Rafe's.." she whispered, his name coming out on a sob. "It has to be – and even if it isn't – I won't let an innocent child pay for my stupidity, no matter how evil his father might be." 

Lucy continued to push. "I think if you hear someone else say it you might be able to rest easier. Please. I can help you. Please let me." 

Wiping her eyes – Alison decided to give in. 

*************

At GH, the technician left to determine the results. Lucy held Alison's hand near the bedside. "It will make you feel so much better once you know. I don't have a doubt – but either way – it'll be a relief to know the truth." 

Alison cast her eyes downward. It amazed her that she could still cry. She shouldn't have any tears left. "Will you tell him for me?" 

"No." Lucy said, her voice strong. "I will not." 

"Lucy…" Alison pleaded. 

"NO. Alison. This is crazy – the two of you are dying inside. Just mentioning his name brings you to tears. You can't deny to me that you love him…" 

"Of course I love him – Lucy. That's not what this is about. It's the fact that I don't think he'll ever forgive me or trust me again. Not after what I did." 

"He'll forgive you – he'll trust you. He practically does already – he's just being stubborn." 

For the first time in months, Alison nearly smiled. "He always was stubborn." 

Lucy smiled back "And so are you. It's why the two of you are in this mess." 

Just then, the technician came back in the room. "Mrs. Kovich." 

"Yes?" Alison asked, her voice hopeful and shaking with nerves. 

"It's 100% conclusive. The DNA is a perfect match." 

Alison's eyes filled with tears. The only DNA they had tested came from Rafe. It honestly was what she had believed all along – but hearing someone else say it – having it scientifically proven was priceless. She finally had something to celebrate. Even if Rafe never spoke to her again it was now clear that she'd always have a part of him. She'd always have some little piece of him to love forever. 

In the moments that followed, she let Lucy convince her to go to him. It would be hard, it could be ugly – but she wanted to tell him herself. As they made their way there fate intervened and on the road slick with ice Lucy's car spun around. When it stopped, Lucy, though shaken – was unharmed. She turned to look at her passenger. Alison sat slumped in her seat, unconscious. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Cousin?" Lucy called out. 

The weather kept the customers away. Rafe was in the gym alone. 

"Hey Luce." Rafe said, his voice lifeless. 

She ran to him and grabbed his arm. "I need you to come with me." 

He recognized from the look in her eyes that a plot was underway. He had been expecting this – specifically so near Christmas. "No." He insisted as he turned away. 

"Rafe. I'm ashamed of you." Lucy said, her voice bitter. 

He glared at her in response. 

"If you can convince me that you care nothing at all for your wife and child then I promise I'll leave you alone." 

He started to deny that he had either, but despite it all he had a feeling that the baby was actually his. He didn't let himself believe it for long though. It hurt too much. 

"Lucy…" His eyes pleaded with her to leave him alone. 

"I can't waste anymore time with this. I'm here because there's been an accident, Rafe…She's at the hospital…." 

She barely got the last sentence out before he ran past her and out the door. 

*********** 

He sat at her bedside and looked at her, the sound of a monitor beeping beside him. She looked tired and pale but he'd be lying if he said she looked anything but beautiful to him. 

Love washed over him, panic coursed through his veins. It had been hell living away from her but at least he knew she was here on this earth. To lose her forever was something he was not at all prepared for. 

She'd hurt him, but he couldn't deny that he'd wounded her too and now – there she was – so small and still. Watching her, he suppressed the urge to pull her close. He wanted to grab her and hold her tight. He promised himself he would as soon as she woke up. None of it – none of what had kept them apart meant anything anymore. Lucy's words made him realize the truth. It hit him like a slap in the face. He needed her, he would always need her. He couldn't survive alone. 

Tentatively, he reached for her hand, almost afraid to touch her. The feel of her skin was as soft as he'd remembered as he traced a finger over her palm, bringing her hand to his lips. The scent of flowers clung to her skin, bringing a thousand memories rushing into his mind – of how sweet she tasted and how he felt just being near her. How he fell for her in the first place. 

He'd been wrong to even try to stay away. She was part of him – she held his heart and soul and always would. He was kidding himself to think otherwise. 

It was as if she knew. Her lips moved and she murmured his name. Rafe inched closer and brought a hand to touch on her cheek his fingers carefully running over her face, which was bruised from the accident. 

"Rafe…" she said again still not opening her eyes. 

He squeezed her hand and replied. "Right here, Angel." 

She wanted to wake up, but she was too afraid. She could feel his hand in hers and it had been so long since she'd been able to feel anything, subconsciously, she didn't want to let it go.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Now that I'm reading this I keep adding stuff. Like in this chapter. When I first wrote it - it was all Rali - we never saw Caleb - but I realized that he'd have to show up sooner or later. So this may be 6 chapters total when I get it all done. :) But I promise, it will still be all posted by Sunday. Special thanks to PCGirl - I'm glad I'm not the only one in tears anymore. :( xox-G

Chapter Four

Hours later, she spoke his name once more and opened her eyes, expecting to see him sitting there. Tears filled her eyes as she turned to her side and saw Lucy. Disappointment washed over her. Of course it had been a dream.

"Hey there, sleepyhead." She whispered as she took Alison's hand.

"Hi." Alison fought to keep her eyes open. Her head was ringing and she ached all over. The last thing she remembered before her dream was being in the car with Lucy, on her way to tell Rafe about the baby. "What happened?"

"We hit a little ice, and your side of the car hit the guardrail." Lucy explained softly. She saw Alison's eyes go wide and rushed to reassure her. "Don't worry, sweetie. Everything's OK."

"The baby…" Alison's voice shook as she sat bolt upright in the bed.

Lucy smoothed Alison's hair off her face to comfort her. "…is fine. The baby's fine."

Alison leaned back, trying to catch her breath. 

She was afraid to ask, but needed to know. She cast her eyes downward as she spoke, "Did you tell him I was here?"

Lucy couldn't believe she needed to ask such a question. "What? Of course I did."

She took a deep breath to try and keep her voice steady. It was choked with tears as she said, "But he didn't come."

"Alison. Of course he did." Lucy grabbed her hand and held it tight. "He's been here all night. Your mom too. She's resting - but they'll both be back."

Alison didn't dare hope. She shook her head no. 

"Yes." Lucy insisted. "As a matter of fact, I think you should know that Rafe didn't even let me finish my sentence before he came rushing over here."

"Don't Lucy…" Still not able to believe it was true

"Alison. I wouldn't lie to you about that. He's been here since practically the moment I told him - not budging from your side since he got here. It took some convincing, but I insisted he take a break and he had to go and open the gym but he'll be back."

Alison was suddenly nervous. Rafe would be back. She was awake. She was scared of what would happen. It had been so long since they'd spoken - let alone seen each other.

"You just rest, sweetie." Lucy said as she stood and walked to the door. "Everything's going to be fine."

***********

She had drifted off to sleep again, but suddenly she felt someone in the room with her. Hear heart began to beat faster. He was back. 

Nervous, her eyes fluttered open, the sight before her leaving her horrified.

"You need to take care of yourself." Caleb said, his voice soft.

Tears filled her eyes as she turned her face away from him.

"You've been keeping yourself tucked away. I figured you needed some time so I left you alone - but once I heard about your little accident - I just wanted to make sure my child was OK. And you too of course." He continued as he pulled a chair over to the bed and sat beside her.

At the sound of his words Alison decided this was as good a time as any to give Caleb the news.

Her hand moved to rest on her stomach. "This isn't your child." She said, her voice nearly shaking with anger.

Caleb's eyebrows shot up. "Really?" He replied, his voice sarcastic.

"Really. Caleb. You've already destroyed everything. You should be happy with that. Just leave me alone." She said as she turned away.

Caleb shook his head and gave her an evil grin. "I can't do that. We're tied for eternity, sweetheart. That child you're carrying will ensure that my family's name lives forever."

"No - Caleb. This child could be the one who finally rids the world of you forever. I expect he or she will take after their father."

"What are you talking about?" Caleb sighed with frustration. He forgot how annoying she could be. Perhaps this whole thing wasn't the best idea. 

"The fact that this child belongs to me - and to Rafe. By some miracle I was at least spared the nightmare of carrying your baby." She said, her voice getting stronger with each word she spoke.

Oh, that was sweet. She was trying so hard. "Please, Alison." He chuckled at her. 

Alison glared at him and went on. "It's true. There's a test on file right here at the hospital in fact. It proves without a doubt that Rafe is the father of my child. Not you."

He had always figured it was a possibility and it certainly put a wrench in his plans. As he contemplated his next move, it seemed Alison had more to say - he realized she was still talking. He glanced her way again, meeting her eyes.

"You really had me fooled. After that night, you promised you wouldn't rub what happened in Rafe's face - but you did. You waited until it would hurt the most and you did it." She shivered, the images of that horrible day once again flying through her mind. "I don't know how I could ever have thought there was an ounce of good in you. I was so blind. You used me, Caleb and I let you. Knowing that I wasn't strong enough to resist that spell and walk away will be something that haunts me forever. But I won't let you take anything more from me. Live here in Port Charles, that's fine." Tears began to fall, but it didn't stop her from talking. "Rafe was right. I finally understand that the thing you want most is a reaction from all of us. I'm done. Don't look at me for one anymore."

She turned away from him and reached for the call button, wanting him out of her room.

Pressing it furiously, she prayed someone would come quickly.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five  
  
Colleen came running, followed by Elizabeth and Chris. Caleb didn't put up a fight - he had bigger and better plans for all of them. Though this new development stopped his little scheme short, he knew he'd caused both Alison and the slayer significant pain.  
  
Content for the moment he sighed. It'd been fun while it lasted. Casually shrugging his shoulders he eased past them and out the door.  
  
Elizabeth sat with her for a while, until she again drifted off to sleep. As she did, in the back of her mind, she wondered when he would come back to see her - or if Lucy was wrong and he'd changed his mind.  
  
*********  
  
He had not wanted to leave her - but he realized now it was for the best. The doctors had assured him that she and the baby were both physically fine, she was just completely exhausted. The few hours he spent dealing with the gym made it possible for him to spend the next few days looking after her. Lucy could try - but there was no way in hell he would leave that hospital until she left its doors with him.  
  
Moonlight streamed through the window, reminding him of other times he sat and watched her sleep. His least favorite place to do that was while she was in the hospital, but this was by no means the first time he had.  
  
He'd been so blind.  
  
If he'd been able to see through the red haze of anger that had blocked his vision since that moment when Caleb showed him what had happened, he would have known how wrong it was to push her away. There was one fact and one fact only he needed to remember.  
  
He wouldn't be walking this earth if it wasn't for her.  
  
Easing into the chair he shrugged off his coat and pulled himself closer to the side of her bed. Since he'd last seen her, the bruise near her eye bloomed a deeper shade of purple. It made him sick to know she was in any sort of pain.  
  
As he gingerly traced the line of her jaw, it dawned on him he'd hurt her more than any of the injuries she'd acquired in the accident.  
  
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he placed his hand over hers, noticing for the first time how it rested on her slightly rounded stomach. All those months they could have been celebrating the fact that they were going to be parents, it killed him to think how much time they had missed staying apart. Rafe vowed then and there not to waste any more of it.  
  
Picking her hand up, he brought it to his lips and spoke to her softly.  
  
"I'm sorry I had to leave you before. I didn't want to. You know Lucy. She wouldn't let up." For the first time in months, he actually smiled. "But, don't worry. I'm not going anywhere now. I'll be here until you're ready to leave."  
  
Rafe listened to her breathing and was calmed by the sound. He held her hand a bit tighter.  
  
"There's so much I need to say to you. I know you're asleep, but maybe you'll hear me. If not, I'll just have to say it all again when you wake up."  
  
The hand that held hers trembled slightly, his eyes filled up as he looked at her. She was so incredibly beautiful. She was everything to him. How did ever think he could have stayed away?  
  
"I was wrong." He began. "I was wrong to blame you because I know that this whole thing is really my fault. I chose him, far more times than you did. I went somewhere I never should have gone, right after you begged me not to. I should have listened to you. You were right all along."  
  
A tear escaped and slowly ran down his cheek as he continued. "Taking care of you doesn't mean I need to fight him every second. It means I shouldn't do anything that could put you in danger. But I did just that - far too many times and I'm sorry."  
  
He kissed her hand again and plodded on, "I never should have blamed you. You didn't blame me. When I came back and fell for Livvie's lies you didn't blame me. You aren't the only one who did something they never thought they'd do. You weren't the only one who did something unspeakable in our place. I married her there, Alison. Even after I had a vision of you and our wedding I still went ahead and did it." He shook his head and took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "And when I finally remembered you told me it didn't matter. After how good you were to me, how could I ever have blamed you like that?"  
  
He looked down at his lap and sighed. Rafe's voice shook with emotion as he finished, "I promise you. Alison. I promise you every day of my life I will try and make it up to you. I will never put anything else in this world before you and our family. I just hope it's not too late - you know? I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for how I've treated you."  
  
Had he been looking at her he would have been able to see her face. Her eyes were now opened wide and tears stained her cheeks.  
  
She gave his hand a squeeze, causing him to look up at last.  
  
Their eyes locked and she whispered, "There's nothing to forgive." 


	6. Chapter 6

A/N : A thousand thank yous to my dear sweet Awians. :) This is the original ending but now - I can't decide if I'm really done. I think so. What do you think?? I'm my own worse enemy aren't I? LOL! Enjoy! xox-G

Chapter Six

"You're awake." He gasped, pulling away a bit.

"Yeah." Alison replied, blinking back tears as she stared up at him. "I'm awake."

Rafe's hand began to shake a bit again as it still held hers. "I don't know much you heard. I was - umm." He cleared his throat. "I was trying to say I'm sorry."

She gazed up at him, never happier. "I heard everything, Rafe." Her voice started to hitch. "I heard every word."

"I know I have no right to expect you to forgive me. I know I promised I'd always keep you safe and I didn't. I accused you of things…" He trailed off, the memory of what he'd said to her fresh in his mind.

"Rafe. Shh. It's alright." She whispered.

He pushed his chair away and turned to stare out the window. "NO. No it's not alright. Alison. How could I do that? You've never given me a reason not to trust you." His voice quivered as he added, "I don't deserve you." 

Alison needed to make him understand. He was being too hard on himself, as usual. She knew for a fact it was the other way around. She asked herself all the time, what had she ever done to deserve someone like him. 

Alison winced as she tried to sit up, moaning softly. He turned around at the sound, back next to her in an instant.

As he helped her she brought a hand to his cheek and made him meet her eyes. "Rafe..." 

Unable to believe she could still look at him with so much love, he sighed. "Angel.."

The sound of his voice calling her that again made her start to sob. "Don't call me that – not anymore." 

He ran his hand over her hair and sat on the edge of the bed. "You are." He insisted. "You're my angel. You always have been." 

She shook her head, "How can you say that after what I did?"

"What did you do exactly?" He asked, almost grinning.

She was shocked and began to pull away. "Rafe. Don't make me say it. You know what I did."

He brought her back to him. "Shh. I do. But, Alison. It wasn't your fault. I caused that to happen." He said it again, wanting to make sure she understood. "It wasn't your fault." 

She stared at him speechless. He looked into her eyes as he continued. "I was so caught up in defeating him that I went to hell looking for answers. You asked me not to but I didn't listen. They warned me you were in danger. They told me I'd regret going there for the rest of my life and I will - believe me. I will."

"Rafe…" She whispered, hoping she could convince him. "I should have told you. I was so afraid. I knew how much it would hurt you. I thought that you would go after him and that either way - I'd lose you. I just wanted to move on with our lives. I just wanted us to finally have everything we'd dreamed of. I should have known better. You have to believe me. I couldn't leave. I wanted to."

"Shh. I know." He replied as he pulled her into his arms. "I know that now."

As his arms closed around her she clung to him. Oh God how she'd missed this, how she'd missed him. She curled her arm around his neck, her fingers tangling in the hair that rested on his collar. She had been so sure she'd never feel this way again. 

He pressed a kiss to her temple and pulled her closer.

Once again, she'd witnessed a miracle, once again she'd been given a chance to finally realize her dreams. She knew, without a doubt – this was the last one she'd ever need. She would never make that kind of mistake again.

Rafe pulled away and brought his hands to frame her face. He spoke softly, "Alison, everything that's happened. Everything that's kept us apart is in the past. We've both made mistakes. The biggest of all is that we let him win. We swore we'd never do that." 

"We won't let him win." She said then, almost believing it. 

"We won't. He's no match for us." He promised as he brought his lips to touch hers.

He kissed her gently at first, and it was almost like the first time. He pulled away slowly and before he could get too far she yanked him back to her, capturing his mouth with hers. She sighed as he deepened the kiss and she knew once again what heaven was like. 

He leaned over and pressed her gently back into the pillows, his body half covering hers, being careful not to hurt her. 

She couldn't get close enough to him. It had been far too long. Too many weeks spent wanting him, too many months spent aching for him. She had missed him so much.

His lips moved over her face, tenderly. Her skin was as soft as he remembered, the scent of it just like a field of wildflowers. He kissed her again slowly, softly, taking his time, wanting to savor every minute, never wanting to let her go. "I love you, Alison." He whispered, over and over. "I love you."

"I love you too." She replied.

Though he wanted her more than anything, there was still plenty of time. Breaking away slowly he turned her in his arms, settling behind her and holding her close. She had never been more content.

"You need to get some rest because we have so much to do." He whispered. "There a lot we need to take care of to get ready for our baby." 

"You said our baby, Rafe.." Hearing him say the words nearly shocked her. 

"Yeah. Our baby." He repeated arm curled around her and he rested his hand on her stomach.

Her eyes filled with tears as she covered his hand with hers. "I - I was coming to tell you when we got in the accident." 

"Shh. I know. It's OK." He placed a kiss on her hair. "I never really doubted it anyway." 

They whispered to each other long into the night, like they had the day she'd told him the news, though it was even more meaningful now. Soon they both slept, more soundly and peacefully than they had in a long, long time.

The next morning they woke, his arms curled tightly around her, her head nestled on his chest, their hearts light for the first time in months. So much had happened that they had lost all track of time. The sounds of church bells could be heard in the air and they knew instantly what day it was. Her face tilted up to his and she gave him a smile. He had never seen anything more beautiful. 

"Merry Christmas, Angel." He whispered against her lips. 

"Merry Christmas." She replied. 


End file.
